‘The Chameleon’
…But all you have to do is choose
Those fateful words… ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’
When you’re a child they seem so unintimidating, so full of promise & excitement. The future is anything you want it to be.
‘An actress, a singer, a doctor…a baker, a candle stick maker’. The future is there for the taking & all you have left to do is choose. As the saying goes…if you dream it you can do it. With the years those dreams slowly cripple under the expectation and realities of life.
This is not a pessimistic look at having dreams & aspirations…quite the opposite in fact. Instead, for those of us that have potentially perceived our lack of ‘professional identity’ as failure, this blog serves as one of the countless examples of someone navigating the world without an impressive title to draw on and still finding fun, adventure & fulfilment along the way.
I’ve spent the past few years longing that I would have the simple answer to the question, ‘What do you do?’ or ‘What’s next’ & I have wanted to pull down the blinds, hide under the covers and flee to a desert island to escape it — not possible in 2021. Now, I want to draw from inspiring stories & people I have met along the way and instead take my value & happiness from other aspects of life.
That’s not to say I don’t entirely envy people that are enthused and motivated by their careers, or those that feel their lives have a certain sense of direction or purpose. But that’s not me & that’s ok.
I sometimes feel like I’ve multiple lives…if I were a cat I would be nearing the dreaded 9. I’ve been a coach, an athlete, a barmaid, a cleaner (poorly), I’ve worked in politics, for an events company, I’ve contributed to a magazine and I’ve tried to climb the television ladder (quite unsuccessfully). But in my head, my rational. This has been — up until very recently — failure.
Not having that one simple answer to the question — ‘What do you do?’ has tortured me. I’ve removed myself from family, lost touch with friends and lowered my head when I pass people in the street all because of my utter self-disappointment.
But I guess… ‘I’m a chameleon’ and I’m sure ill change multiple times throughout the duration of my life and this is something to be celebrated. What an adventure. This is what life is supposed to be. Although granted the unpredictability of what will come next is something I’m still trying to come to terms with.
As I navigate this unpredictable time and try to embrace the uncertainty of my future & life…I’m going to be sharing inspiring stories along the way in the hope that we can all take a little positivity from the variety of life.
To my fellow Chameleons welcome to the ‘Should Not’ blog…
Where we shelve life’s ‘shoulds’ and instead embrace the adventure.
